


Checking Out the Competition

by ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil



Series: Valentine's Shorts 2019 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, Baristas, Coffee Shops, Fluff and Humor, Genderfluid Sugawara, Implied Sexual Content, Love at First Meme, Love at First Sight, M/M, Nonbinary Hanamaki Takahiro, Star-crossed, Strangers to Lovers, Thanks, but i love this little fic and i would die for it, but not really, like zero to a hundred real quick, love these nerds, shits moving fast, sorry - Freeform, tbh they're just in a stupid situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 21:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17670395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil/pseuds/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil
Summary: Prompt: "I write a bad pickup line on your cup every time I'm your barista" AUHanamaki Takahiro has been asked by Oikawa and Suga to check out the new cafe that's just opened down the street and see if it's going to be too much competition for them. What they didn't anticipate was the literal angel barista working the afternoon shift, or the fact that he would be their literal other half who they would fall in love with instantly.So, they fall in love with Matsukawa Issei the only way they know how: in a fast-forward relationship resembling the format of a living shitpost.This fic moves incredibly quick, so I really hope that's not off-putting to any of you, because honestly, it's a prompt fic and I just wrote it free-flowing?





	Checking Out the Competition

**Author's Note:**

> For Abby~  
> First nonbinary Hiro is free but the next one will cost 3 hugs (the price has gone up since we last discussed it...inflation is steep).
> 
> (an inside joke with my datemate. please enjoy this shitty trainwreck where i try to show love between two people whove known each other for two weeks because i do believe for some people yes, that is possible)

When Hanamaki arrived at the café for their shift, their boss was glaring at his phone.

They cleared their throat. “Oikawa? Something the matter?”

“Look at this, Makki-chan!” Oikawa wailed, handing them his phone. “Another small café! Just down the street! Competition, Makki-chan! It’ll kill our small business!”

“You’re worrying too much,” they assured him. “And being dramatic, as per usual.”

They grabbed their apron and pulled it on, adjusting their name tag. The smell of sweet caffeine filled their lungs, and they were ready to embrace their shift.

“No, no, no. You have a special job for your favorite boss, Makki-chan!” Oikawa said, tugging their apron.

“What does Sugawara-san need?” they asked sweetly.

Oikawa gasped. “I can’t believe you said that!”

“I can!” sang a sweet voice from the back.

“Hah?! Kou-chan!” Oikawa whirled around to berate his co-owner, but he seemed to remember that he was going to ask Hanamaki to do something. “Makki-chan~.”

“I won’t do it.” They started turning on the machines, following the routine of the morning shift. “I like being here for the first customers. You know this.”

Oikawa whined. “But I need you to go and-!”

“No.”

“You’ve gotta make sure that-!”

“ _No._ ” They crossed their arms. “I’ll check them out at lunch time, but I want to work my full shift.”

“As the boss, I can pay you for this,” Oikawa argued. “You just need to test their product. Tell me if it’s better than ours. If their service is better. Takahiro, I’m begging you-”

“Then, beg.”

Oikawa wailed. “I’ll give you anything you want if you just go and test their products! I’m sure if you go every day this month, you can try their whole menu and-!”

“Don’t you think that’s suspicious?” they interrupted.

“You’re the crafty type, you could _totally~_ pull this off, Makki-chan!”

“No one’s as cunning as Suga-san,” they countered, “so why don’t you ask him?”

“Ask _her_ ,” Suga lightly corrected, turning the corner and flashing a smile. “Because as the co-owner of this fine establishment, that’s a little below my paygrade, Hiro.” She patted their cheek.

“You said anything I want?” they asked, starting to cave.

Oikawa nodded so hard Makki worried about his neck. “Anything! Right, Kou-chan!”

“Anything within reason,” was all she stipulated.

“I want a raise.”

“Done.”

“I want a promotion.”

“No offense, but there’s not really anything to promote you _to_ , Makki-chan.”

“ _Au contraire_. It’s a new position.” They smiled.

“I’m already regretting this,” Oikawa decided, “but go on.”

“I want to be the new Head of Top-Secret Affairs.”

“That’s _stupid_ , Makki-”

“It’s within reason,” Suga argued, ruffling his hair, “so you’re going to give it to them.”

Makki grinned. They knew it was stupid, but they also knew that it would annoy Oikawa. At this point in life, they had to enjoy the little things. Annoying Oikawa was one of those enjoyable little things.

“I’ll go after my shift, then!”

 

They changed out of their uniform into street clothes, debating on how best to disguise themself from being recognized. They took out their contacts and put on their glasses.

“If it’s good enough for Superman, it’s good enough for me,” they decided before heading down the street.

Upon seeing the new rival café, they began to understand Oikawa’s concerns. It was new, fresh, and already drawing in a good number of customers. It wasn’t as busy as the Seijoh Café’s lunch rush, but this little place – named Little Cup of Miyagi – was busier than one would expect of a new establishment.

_Stealth mode: activate._

They walked into the café like they would walk into any café for the first time. They took a deep breath, inhaling more sweet caffeine. Then, they perused the specials menu perched by the entry way. Finally, they dragged themself to the counter, prepared to order this café’s variant of their favorite drink at Seijoh’s.

Then, the barista turned to greet them.

“Hi! Welcome to the Little Cup of Miyagi! What can I get you?”

_An engagement ring,_ they thought immediately. Honestly, they had half a mind to drop to their knees and thank the gods above for blessing them with the opportunity to lay eyes upon this beautiful man. _Matsukawa_ , his nametag read, and Hanamaki was in love.

“Um, ma- si- _valued customer_ ,” Matsukawa stammered.

_He doesn’t want to misgender me and that’s so fucking cute I might start undressing._

Wait. They were meant to be ordering. They were meant to be scoping out the competition.

“I’ll take whatever your version of a white chocolate mocha with a shot of raspberry is – ah! But do you have vegan options?” It was the pride of Seijoh to be accommodating to as many eating preferences as possible, and vegan alternatives were their specialty. How would this café match up?

“Yes! All our white chocolate is vegan, and I can swap out for soy, almond, or coconut milk. We _also_ have whipped coconut cream, if you like.”

_God, that smile_. Wait! That was probably bad news. They were equals for the accommodation.

“I like,” they replied, hoping to keep most of the conflicted emotions off of their face.

“Will that be all?” His eyes were scanning their face, and they hoped not to be the only one feeling something here.

“Hmm… Do you have anything sweet you’d recommend?” they asked, gesturing to the display of cakes and whatnot.

He grinned, definitely picking up what they were putting down. They once more had to resist the urge to drop to their knees and utter a prayer of thanks.

“I can think of a couple things,” he replied. “But as for what’s on display…” _Cheeky shit._ “I’d recommend the orange scones. I make them myself, you know.”

“Ooh~, a man who can bake.” They propped their elbows on the counter, hoping this wasn’t the obligatory barista flirt. No. The twinkle in his beautiful, beautiful eyes said otherwise. This was love.

“Can bake, and can make a mean cup of coffee,” he added with a wink.

_Marry me. Take me. Make me yours. Oh my god._ “You know how to make an enby swoon, sir.”

“Gotta win the hearts of all the guys, gals, and nonbinary pals.”

_I am so gay._ “Gorgeous guy like yourself ought to have no trouble.

“So, will you take the scone, then?” he asked. “You know, to test out my baking?”

_Smooth motherfucker._ “Gotta know if it’s worth committing to.”

“Oh?” His smile widened, mischief intensifying.

“You know. Committing to the café.” They waved their hand vaguely.

“I guess I’ll just have to make sure you leave satisfied, then.”

It took every ounce of self-control not to grab the man across from them by his shirt collar and kiss him.

“So, is there a name to associate with your order?” he asked, grabbing a cup.

“Takahiro,” they replied. That was the name not on their nametag at work, so it felt safe. “Taka or Hiro if you wanna get friendly, though.”

“I’m Issei,” he offered. Then, he flushed red. “Not – not that – you didn’t ask! Wow. I’ll get on your order, then!”

_Get on me next, please._ They watched longingly as he whipped together the drink that they hardly remembered ordering, almost feeling their heart pang when he had finished.

“I guess this is where we say goodbye,” they sighed, taking the cup from him.

“Your scone, _Hiro_?”

They beamed. “Ah, yes. Thank you. Until next time?”

“Ready to commit already?”

They laughed and shook their head. “Call it intuition, _Issei_.”

They found the strength to pull themself out of the little coffee shop before going to sip their drink. Before they could, writing caught their eye. Other than just _Hiro_ neatly scribbled on the side of the cup, there was:

_“I was wondering if you had an extra heart, because you just stole mine_ _♥_ _”_

Oh, yeah. Hanamaki had just fallen badly, madly in love.

 

Hanamaki made Suga his favorite drink that morning, because he was apparently having a shitty day in the gender department, and damn if Makki didn’t get that. In an attempt to cheer him up, they shook an obviously empty whipped cream can.

“This bitch empty,” they declared, preparing to toss it in the trash.

“ _YEET_!” called a second voice, the door ringing to announce a customer’s arrival.

“Whoever that was, I have to tell you that you’re my so _ul_ …” Their voice wavered. “…mate.”

It was Matsukawa Issei.

“W-welcome to Seijoh Café, what can I get for you?” they asked, trying to act nonchalant.

“Wait, wait,” Matsukawa laughed, “tell me, oh Meme Lord, why I am now your soulmate?”

“Because we finish each other’s-”

“-Vine references.”

_Oh, look_ , Hanamaki groaned internally, _I’m again feeling the strong urge to launch myself over a counter and kiss him._

“What can I get you?” they repeated, feeling much more embarrassed than they ought to about such a simple exchange.

“Hmm… I’ll have whatever your version of a vegan white chocolate mocha with a shot of raspberry is – and vegan whip, if you’ve got it?”

“I’ve got it, babe.” They tried not to make too much of the fact that he ordered exactly what they had.

“Do you know each other?” Suga asked curiously.

“No,” Hanamaki replied. “But I did just declare him my soulmate. Can I get you anything else, sir?”

“Sir seems a bit formal; Mattsun or Issei is okay.” He grinned, picking up on the hint to not alert the boss to their connections. “Do you guys…have any scones?”

“You’ll never believe this, but I _make_ our scones,” Hanamaki replied, biting their lip.

“They also make our vegan white chocolate! Very good with food, this one!” Suga bragged.

“I love an enby who’s good with food – and coffee.”

_Oh, it’s on_. “So, is it _just_ Mattsun or Issei, or can I call you mine?”

Matsukawa chuckled. “I’d like to try one of your orange scones.”

“I’ll get right on your order, Mattsun-san.” They spun with a flourish, trying to convey grace and proficiency as they made the drink.

A cheeky little heart in the latte design, and they decided it was good to go. Well, _almost_.

_Mine_ _♥_

It wasn’t until he was nearly at the door that Hanamaki heard the deep, infectious laugh ringing back to them. He turned and cast them a winning smile before he left.

Hanamaki slumped over the counter. “Suga-san, I’m in love.”

“You just met him.”

“If you can be in love with the jogger with the nice ass, I can be in love with the customer.”

“Hey! That jogger _will_ be my husband, Taka-chan, just you wait,” he swore.

 

Matsukawa wasn’t sure what he was supposed to report to Iwaizumi and Sawamura now. First of all, not only was the white chocolate mocha amazing and the orange scone delicious, but he was pretty sure that he was madly in love with the bubblegum-haired barista who he’d met exactly twice now. He couldn’t just turn on them like this. Not when he was so certain that by this time next year, they would be married with three dogs and maybe even a cat. Definitely a goldfish.

Secondly, all he had was bad news. The older café was better than theirs. The coffee was better, the sweets were tastier, and the atmosphere was friendly, made the customer feel like family. Or, maybe that was just his crush on Hanamaki? More bad news: _clearly_ , Hanamaki had been scoping out Little Cup of Miyagi just as he’d scoped out Seijoh Café.

But the co-owners of their little café were waiting for him, and he had to say _something_.

“They are better than us in every respect, but I think that doesn’t matter, because we’ll attract different vibes of people.” He settled on that explanation. “So, don’t freak out?”

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes. “What is the difference between the vibes we’re sending?”

“Their café is like coming home after a long day of work and falling into your mother’s arms while she soothingly supplies you with your favorite drink,” he said, possibly too dreamily. He had disposed of the cup reading, “ _Mine,_ ” before arriving to the meeting. God knew Sawamura would never get off his ass for that.

“And ours?” Sawamura asked.

“So serious, Dai-kun,” Matsukawa said with a _tsk_. “We’re a jolt of creative energy like a stimulating conversation with your muse before you go out and seize the day, gain the promotion, make the merger!”

The men before him took this into consideration before sharing a look. Then, they looked back at him, not entirely displeased.

“Well, I still want you to see if we have anything to learn from them,” Sawamura said finally. “If there’s more efficient ways to run our business – whatever.”

Matsukawa nodded, understanding his orders. “Great! Every morning before my shift, I will do that!”

“Thanks, by the way, Issei,” Iwaizumi called before he could leave. “For doing this stupid thing for us, and for sticking with us through starting a business, and for just-”

“Hajime, if you say one more nice thing to me, I’m going to call a doctor to make sure you don’t have a fever,” Matsukawa interrupted, beaming at his friend. “Let’s get ready for the afternoon shift, right?”

 

He had a feeling that now that he understood the nature of Makki’s visit, that wouldn’t be the last time they stepped foot in the café. So, around one o’clock, when he saw a flash of pink hair making its way through the jingling door, he grinned.

“Welcome to Little Cup of Miyagi, what can I get you?”

They smiled back, eyes brightening at the sight of him. “Ah – wait until I get to the counter, would you, Issei?”

He laughed. “Same as yesterday?”

“Mm…no,” they decided, leaning across the counter. “I’m afraid I’ll have to try something new every day, at least for the next month.”

“Well, I can make as many recommendations as you need,” he replied, leaning to meet them halfway. He tried to ignore that they had just revealed their café’s plans for sending them to spy. He had no intention of the two men behind him finding out who they were.

“Friend of yours, Mattsun?” Iwaizumi asked gruffly.

“I’m his fiancé,” Hanamaki replied, grinning boldly.

“We’re getting married next spring,” Matsukawa said, continuing on with the joke. “Unless you’d prefer a different season?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a June bride, personally,” they sighed, propping their head up with their hand. “But it takes two to plan a wedding.”

Daichi scoffed behind him. “Look, you found someone as ridiculous as yourself, Issei.”

“Who says we’re joking?” the two of them said in sync.

Hanamaki laughed first, and oh _god_ , it was sunshine as a sound. Matsukawa resolved to make them laugh every time he saw them from here on in.

“I’d love to try a strawberry hot chocolate this time around,” they said, reaching out to touch Mattsun’s arm. “What sweet would go best with it, do you think?”

“Hmm…” He glanced at the display counter. “I’d have to recommend a blondie bar. Still warm, fresh out of the oven.”

“Did you bake those as well?”

“Issei does all our baking,” Daichi interrupted. “He’s also quite the chef, if you were wondering.”

“Wait, I’ve seen you before,” Hanamaki gasped, looking around Issei to see Daichi. “Definitely seen you somewhere…”

“Daichi’s boring, so he’s just got one of those faces,” Mattsun explained. “Vegan hot chocolate?”

“Regular.”

“Different every day?”

“Every day is different.” They winked at him, and Cupid shot him with another arrow.

He spun into action to make their hot chocolate, wishing he could take up more of their time. But he knew that they probably had to report back to their bosses, so he just scribbled a quick, shitty line on their cup:

_“Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.”_

It was worth it to hear the laughter erupt from their mouth before they left the café.

 

This new routine continued for the next few days. In the morning, Mattsun would walk into Seijoh Café, order something, flirt a bit, make a reference to meme culture, and be rewarded with a shitty pickup line. In the afternoon, it was Makki’s turn to waltz in and steal more of his heart. They weren’t shy to reach across the counter and touch him, and he was really glad about that. He also didn’t mind getting to see them up close and personal. Yeah, he really liked that.

“Mattsun, you’re actually in love with that customer, aren’t you?” Iwaizumi realized. Matsukawa still hadn’t told him who they were.

“Maybe?” He offered an awkward grin.

“So, why haven’t you asked them out?”

“It’s – uh – it’s complicated,” he said.

“No, it’s really not. Just tell them how you feel? Lord knows they feel the same – they still introduce themself as your fiancé.”

“Hmm… You’re right. I should get them a ring.”

“Be serious!” Iwaizumi swatted his arm. “You’re lucky to have found something who shares your disgusting sense of humor. If you don’t ask them on a date, I’ll make you change your shift.”

_But they work for the competition._ “Look, we are both very busy-”

“Then at least give them your number.”

He raised a brow in contemplation. Now, _there_ was an idea…

 

That afternoon, when Hanamaki arrived, Matsukawa was ready to charm them. Or, continue charming them. He was pretty sure he’d already charmed them, otherwise they were just _really_ flirty.

“So, I’ve been thinking about our wedding,” they announced, shouting a bit over the machines as he made their drink.

“Yeah?”

“If you want a spring wedding, I’m alright with it,” they decided.

“No, you said you wanted to be a June bride.” Sometimes, he couldn’t tell how much they were joking.

“Okay, but hear me out: cherry blossom season.”

“ _Mm_ , touché.” The noise stopped, and he handed them their drink. “Well, then, should the wedding colors be pastels?”

“It’s like we share a brain,” they sighed, putting a hand to their heart. “I never asked, but are you the fine owner of this fine establishment?”

He shook his head. “Nah, that’s my bosses over there. Daichi and Iwaizumi.”

“Hmm… so we’re just worker bees in this star-crossed lovers’ scene.” They stuck out their bottom lip in a pout. “Forbidden to be together.”

“Keep your voice down,” he whispered, leaning closer. “And for god’s sake, Hiro, don’t look at your cup until you’re outside.”

“Ah, embarrassed, Issei?”

“I’m colluding with the enemy.”

“I call it checking out the competition,” they argued with a wink.

“This is a café, Hiro, not a library. If you want me, you’re stuck with me forever,” he teased.

“Forever, huh?” they asked. “Well, that’s quite a bargain at the cost of a few lattes.”

The crazy thing was that Matsukawa wasn’t even sure how much _he_ was joking.

He watched them walk out the door, knowing full well what the cup said:

_I’m studying some of the great dates in history…would you like to be one of them? xxx-xxx-xxxx_

A phone number, with the hopes of a date. They faced the window and grinned at him through the glass. He smiled back.

 

When he arrived at Seijoh Café the next morning, he was a bit disappointed to find that his phone lacked any attempts at communication. Did he mess up the number he gave them? Was their flirting just innocent and now he made it weird?

Even worse, they kept it strictly professional when he ordered his drink. He tried to play, but to no avail.

He frowned. “Hanamaki-san, are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” they replied, turning to make his drink.

“No one says ‘just peachy’ and _means it_ , Hiro,” he replied, but they had already turned on the machine, drowning out his voice.

He bit his lip, trying to assess the predicament. Something was _wrong,_ and he wanted to know what. He wanted to ask them to take their break and sit with him so they could talk through it. He _knew_ that it was stupid to care about someone who was practically a stranger like that, but they’d planned their hypothetical wedding, so surely, they could –

“You can stop watching me like I’m going to break,” they whispered, slipping the drink over the counter. “Boss man’s up my ass about flirting on company time.” They winked. “See you this afternoon.”

With a single wink, Hanamaki lifted his every concern. He could’ve kissed them over the counter, but he decided that probably went against what they just said.

“Well, as a paying customer, I reserve the right to chat up my barista,” he said bravely.

“Ooh, feisty, I like this one.” Then, they turned and yelled without warning, “SUCK MY ASS, OIKAWA!”

He choked out a confused laugh as an upsettingly pretty man flounced – yes, flounced – out of the back room before crossing his arms.

“You _called_ , Taka-chan?” he huffed.

“Customer says he wants me to flirt on company time.” They stuck out their tongue. “And, for the record, if that grumpy hedgehog man you saw at the small businesses conference last week was the one in here right now, you’d be the one drooling.”

_Grumpy hedgehog man… Wait…_

He caught their eye, and they gave a tiny nod. They remembered Iwaizumi, and that was to whom they were referring. Fascinating.

“Besides, we’re getting married next spring,” they added with a dismissive wave of their hand.

“Pastel colors for the wedding,” he confirmed.

The man – presumably Oikawa – gave a longsuffering sigh. “And who will be your best man, Makki-chan?”

“Sugawara-san,” Hanamaki replied sweetly.

Oikawa erupted. Matsukawa couldn’t contain his laughter. Partly because this was so funny, but also partly because this guy was like, the _opposite_ of Iwaizumi’s type. They’d probably get on like a wild fire, though.

“I should get going, though,” he sighed, full aware that his shift was starting soon. “Maybe I’ll see you later?”

Hanamaki smiled. “Maybe you will.”

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>So, you wanted me to text first, eh? _11:16 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>Maybe~~ _11:17 a.m._

>shouldn’t u be working, mattsun-chan? _11:17 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>I can’t seem to focus these days _11:18 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>watcha thinkin bout _11:19 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>oh, u know… _11:20 a.m._

>the most beautiful person _11:20 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>I know who u mean _11:21 a.m._

>I’m thinking about shrek too _11:21 a.m._

**[To: Hiro]**

>I…cannot believe u…thought that…then spent the time…typing it…then…sent it… _11:22 a.m._

**[To: Issei]**

>disappointed, mattsun? _11:23 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>no, but I think im in love _11:23 a.m._

 

Hanamaki would be lying if they claimed that reading that wasn’t a lot bigger than hearing the joke aloud. Via text, it just seemed so real, so intimate, so private. Like, he was probably still teasing them, but…

 

**[To: Issei]**

>listen ever since I laid eyes on u ive wanted to jump ur bones _11:24 a.m._

>now I also want to hear about ur days and make u soup when ur sick and hold ur hand when ur scared n shit _11:24 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>when u didn’t talk to me the other day at first I was worried about u _11:25 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>point being, when does love become love _11:25 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>love is love when we believe it’s love _11:26 a.m._

>and I know for a fact _11:26 a.m._

>that shrek is love _11:26 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>already undressing in the staff room u really know a way to an enbys heart and im madly in love with u so ask me on a date please _11:27 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>even if it’s forbidden _11:28 a.m._

>ud sleep with the enemy? _11:28 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>I prefer to call it checking out the competition _11:29 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>we can go out on Sunday then _11:29 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>I want a full day of it _11:29 a.m._

>if we’re in love u gotta woo me like a proper man n shit _11:30 a.m._

>my favorite flowers are gardenias _11:30 a.m._

>my favorite food is profiteroles _11:30 a.m._

>my birthday is january 27 so we just missed it but that’s ok we can celebrate next year _11:31 a.m._

>if this date goes well im going to jump ur bones _11:31 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>well that’s a lot to take in but I will buy u all of ur favorite things _11:32 a.m._

>I will write u cards with the entire script of the bee movie _11:32 a.m._

>I will serenade u in the form of a rick roll _11:32 a.m._

 

**[To: Issei]**

>ur so fucking hot _11:33 a.m._

 

**[To: Hiro]**

>dude u the fuck too _11:33 a.m._

 

Saturday afternoon, Hiro was expecting to see Issei at his café. He’d come to see them that morning, like usual, but…

It was that Daichi guy instead. They tried to hide their disappointment, but they deflated at the sight of another barista.

“Ah, Hiro, wasn’t it?” Daichi remembered, shooting a grin. “What can I get you?”

They stammered out an order, then went to wait for it.

“Issei doesn’t work on Saturdays,” Daichi explained. “You should see him here tomorrow, though.”

_I’ll be seeing him in more than one place tomorrow, Daichi…_ “Ah. That obvious?”

“You looked at me like I kicked your dog.”

They forced an apologetic smile. “I got it bad for your barista, Daichi-san.”

He leaned closer. “He’s got it bad for you, too.”

“Guess that’s why I’ve got a date with him tomorrow.” They smirked at the shock on Daichi’s face.

“I can’t believe that little shit didn’t tell me. I owe Iwaizumi money now.”

“Think he was too good for me or something?”

“No,” Daichi assured them, “more that you were too good for him.”

“He’s probably my soulmate,” they laughed, “but thanks for the vote of confidence, Dai-san. See you tomorrow.”

“Enjoy your latte, Hiro!”

They tried to ignore the disappointment that there was no writing on their drink this time.

 

Their date with Matsukawa was kind of a blur. He took them to their favorite museums, then took them to his favorite parks and places. They ate lunch and dinner together. Conversation flowed easily, like they’d known each other forever.

Then, to Hanamaki’s pleasure (and Matsukawa’s, they were pretty sure), the night ended in Matsukawa’s bed.

Rolling off of him, they laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. This had been the wildest week of their entire life. They’d never believed in love at first sight, or soulmates, or any of that bullshit.

Now, though?

“Hey, Issei?”

“Hmm?” Matsukawa rolled onto his side and put an arm around their waist.

“Is this real?”

He pulled them closer to them. “No jests, no jokes, no memes.” He traced a finger along their face. “I really do love you.”

“I think – I think I love you too.”

“Thank god, because I feel like I’m jumping off a cliff blind-folded right now.” He peppered their cheeks and forehead with gentle kisses.

“I’m a rational person, Issei,” they breathed, “and yet, I can’t find a single thing wrong with this right now.”

“I think that our souls knew each other before we did,” Issei pondered, tracing a finger along their side. “It’s the only rational explanation.”

“You had me at first yeet,” Takahiro replied, placing a hand on his chest.

“Ah, so jests, jokes, and memes are back on the table now?” He laughed.

“I couldn’t handle how serious it was getting.” They pushed him onto his back. “I said I was rational, not serious.”

He pulled them back on top of him. “Well, I’ve kind of noticed, Hiro.”

They grinned. “Good. I’d hate to have been married for five years before you realized I am fully incapable of being serious for longer than three minutes.”

“I see so many fights over that in our future,” Matsukawa laughed.

Makki leaned down and kissed him. “They won’t last long, though. You aren’t very serious yourself.”

“True. One of us will start laughing over something stupid and we’ll forget why we’re even fighting.”

“Let’s hope we never have too big a fight, then.”

He kissed them again. “Never go to bed angry if we do.”

“I like that.”

“Me too.”

 

They both nearly slept through their alarms, so they raced to work. Well, that is to say, they jumped into Matsukawa’s car, and he drove them to Seijoh Café.

“You’re sure this is okay?” he asked, driving with one hand, the other holding Makki’s. “To have me drive you to work?”

“You got a problem with it?” they countered lightly. “My bosses know that I’ve been flirting with you mercilessly. They’ll just be glad I waited until I was out of their building to get in your pants.”

He laughed and pulled their hand up to kiss it briefly at the red light. “But they don’t know who I am, yet. And I know you’re close with them. I just don’t want you to have to lie to them.”

“You’re lying to your bosses too,” Hanamaki reminded him. “We’ll tell them…but I think that we’re going to need some time to figure it out.”

“Us, or how to tell them?”

“Mm…both,” they admitted. “For example, after last night, should I still be calling you my fiancé, or do you want me to call you my boyfriend?”

Matsukawa bit his lip to hide a smile. “I’d like to be your boyfriend, if that’s okay. But-”

“You still want me to introduce myself as your fiancé?” they teased.

“Oh, would you?”

They laughed and kissed his hand. “Of course I will. Oh, this is my stop.”

“Should I walk you in?” he asked, pulling into park.

“Oh, _please_ do,” they laughed. “Tooru’s gonna lose his shit.”

Tooru did indeed lose his shit.

“ _Finally_ ,” he cried, dropping to his knees. “Does this mean you’ll stop flirting in my shop!?”

“No,” they both said at the same time.

“God, I love you,” Hiro laughed.

“I love you too,” Issei said, kissing their forehead. “And I’ll see you later?”

“You kind gotta, I left all my shit at your place. You gotta take me home tonight.”

“Meet me after work?”

“You got it~.” They hopped behind the counter. “Now, welcome to Seijoh Café, what can I get you?”

“What would you recommend for a man who’s met the person he wants to spend forever with~?” he asked.

“Mm… You should try the new Cupid Frap, with a heart shaped sugar cookie. Suga-san made the cookies, though,” they added.

“That sounds perfect.” He leaned over the counter to steal one last kiss for the morning.

They scribbled quickly onto the cup:

_If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?_

 

When he got off work, Matsukawa was pleased to find Hanamaki still sipping on their latte, leaning against the outside of the café.

“Ready to take me home, Issei?” they asked, pushing off the wall.

“Let’s go!”

The plan was to get Hiro’s shit and then get Hiro home. They were, _ahem_ , side tracked.

And then they fell asleep.

So, the next morning, when the two of them woke up, they resolved that Mattsun would take Makki home after their shifts were over _today_.

(And then, they got side tracked.)

 

“Third time’s a charm?” Takahiro kissed Issei goodbye on Wednesday, and Issei left with his latte and on for his shift at work.

It was weird to think that last week, they hadn’t even gone on a date. Hadn’t had long night’s of staying up too late discussing the way _Naruto_ ended. Hadn’t sent each other their favorite Vine compilations.

It was weird, remembering a time before Hiro, but he really hoped that he wouldn’t have to know a time after them.

“They’ve stayed _three nights in a row_ ,” Iwaizumi marveled. “I can’t believe that you’re this committed to someone you’ve known for a week and a half.”

“People have married people they’ve known this long, Hajime,” he pointed out. “Daichi, you don’t think it’s weird, do you?”

Daichi hummed. “I think it’s romantic.”

“You’re just hoping to get this kind of love story with Yoga Guy-slash-Gal from the park,” Iwaizumi huffed. “You two are perfect for each other. I’m sure you’ll have imperfections, but hey, I’m also sure that you’ll figure it out.”

“You guys – you guys believe me when I say that I love them?”

The other men shrugged and nodded.

“You don’t just talk about wanting to bone them,” Daichi reasoned. “You want to like, hold them after long days and take care of them when they’re sick and stuff. Sounds a lot like love.”

Issei smiled. “Yeah. I guess it does.”

 

When Hiro arrived at Little Cup of Miyagi for their one o’clock drink, their eyes were red and voice crackling. They weren’t trying to flirt.

“Hiro,” Issei whispered, “are you alright?”

They nodded, quickly brushing away a stray tear. “Long day. Stress. You know?”

He nodded. “I’ve got just the thing for you.” He reached across the counter for their hand and kissed their knuckles.

“Thanks,” they sniffed.

As he made their drink, Iwaizumi approached him. “Take the rest of the day off, Issei. Go be with them.”

“Thanks, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi clapped him on the shoulder. “You love them, don’t you?”

“So fucking much.”

 

When they got to Matsukawa’s apartment, they collapsed together on the couch. Hiro crawled into his arms, crying in a way that was more stressed out than emotional.

“Long day?” Mattsun hummed, rubbing circles on their back.

“I got yelled at for messing up an order. It – it was busy. I didn’t mean to.” Their voice cracked. “I know this happens, but I’m no good with it, you know?”

“It’s hard,” he agreed, kissing their head.

“This…this isn’t my dream job,” they sighed. “I love Tooru and Koushi, so I agreed to work for them until all of us were on our feet, but sometimes, I worry that they’ll fall apart if I quit.”

“What do you want to do, Hiro?”

“Go to art school. I want to be a photographer.”

He smiled. “That’s amazing. Events, personal, travel, what?”

“Events, but also just, for people, you know? Maybe a little bit for myself to put in galleries? I love the idea of capturing life in the moment, because it tells so many stories?”

“You’ll be amazing.”

“You’ve never seen a single picture I’ve ever taken, Issei.”

“Well,” he said, “then show me. I bet it’s amazing.”

They started to smile as they shifted out of his arms. “I have a feeling I’m not going home tonight, am I?”

“Only if you want to.”

“I don’t.”

So, Wednesday turned into Thursday, and Hiro was still at Issei’s.

 

By Friday evening, Takahiro was ready to give up. They had tried four times to go home, and this being the fifth day, they were pretty sure it was better to just talk about it with their new boyfriend.

When they got home – well, to Issei’s home, at least – they sat up on the counter and looked at him.

“Matsukawa, I need to be straight with you.”

The two of them promptly started cracking up.

“I need to be serious,” they rephrased.

“Alright, what’s up?” He sat on the barstool in front of them.

“I feel like going home is a futile effort, but I don’t wanna be presumptuous.”

“You don’t have to leave if you don’t want,” he said. “I…I really like having you here. I was actually going to give you my spare key, if you ever got home.”

“We both took tomorrow off work,” they remembered.

“Yes?”

“Issei…what if…?” They stopped and shook their head. “This is crazy, I know. What if I moved in here?”

“You’ve been here for a week anyways. I don’t really want you to leave. I think that would be great,” he said, offering a smile.

“Seriously, though?” Insecurities clouded their mind. “I mean, I don’t want to have sex tonight.”

“Okay, so we won’t.”

“I don’t even really feel like making out.”

“That’s fine.”

“I have no guarantees on any given day that I can be a long-standing booty call.”

He frowned. “That’s good, because I want you to be my long-standing significant other. Hiro, what’s this about?”

“It’s about the fact that I’m in love with and asking to move in with someone I’ve known for two weeks,” they sighed. “That’s so crazy.”

“If we’re not going to do anything physical, we could compare fan theories about Naruto. Or watch Vine compilations. Whatever you need?”

A smile tugged at their lips. “Fuck, you just might be my soulmate.”

 

And by the end of Saturday, Hiro was moved in. Just in time for shit to hit the fan.

Honestly, it wasn’t even _their shit_. Definitely wasn’t their fan. Hiro and Issei were fine. It was their bosses who were having a goddamned heyday.

A week of living together (in an official sense), and Issei drove Hiro to work, like he had every day for two weeks. They had a great routine already, and Hiro loved it. No one even had to know why they knew each other as well as they did.

That was the temporary plan, at least.

Walking into Seijoh Café, hand in hand, proved today was going to get a little complicated. Iwaizumi Hajime was stood in the café, pointing at things and presumably yelling. Oikawa Tooru was having none of it.

“Ah, shit,” Hiro muttered. “This is going to be so much fun.”

Issei squeezed their hand. “Well, it was going to go down eventually.”

They unlocked the door and stepped in, catching the last piece of Iwaizumi’s shouting:

“-can’t believe you’re trying to one-up a _small_ business that only just fucking opened! You’re such a shitty person!”

Oikawa was fuming, which was to be expected.

“Tooru, hey,” Hiro greeted, pecking him on the cheek as he walked past. “Love what you did with your hair today.”

“I’m not talking to you, Takahiro!” Oikawa snapped.

“Then, who are you talking to?”

“Your new boyfriend is from the other café? No wonder things moved so fast! You’ve been spying on each other!” he cried. “Oh my _god_!”

Hiro followed their routine regardless, turning on machines and putting on their apron. “Welcome to Seijoh Café, what can I get-?”

Oikawa shrieked. “It’s so hypocritical! I mean, you were spying on us too!”

“I was trying to learn from a fellow businessman! In a roundabout sort of way!” Iwaizumi corrected him.

“Sounds like _bullshit_ , Iwa-chan!”

“What did you just call me?” Iwaizumi gasped. “Please, never say that again!”

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-”

“What the hell is going on in here?”

“Mother!” Hiro threw themself at Suga’s feet. “God, make them stop, we’ll never get any customers today if they keep shouting.”

“Hey! Did you finally get a date with him? You’re the guy from the conference, right?” Ah, leave it to Suga to take a gamble on worsening or bettering a situation. So brave.

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa curiously. Oikawa paled and looked away.

“Makki-chan, I love you.”

“Love you too, Oikawa.”

“Please leave before I say something I’m going to regret?”

They took off their apron and set it on the counter. “Drama king. Hey, Hajime.”

“Hello, Hiro.”

“Should I even bother coming into work today?” Issei asked.

Iwaizumi shook his head.

“Great. You kids have fun.”

Hiro pressed themself against the café wall. “That was awful.”

“We need the big guns.”

“Who’s the big guns?”

“Daichi.” Issei looked back in the café. “I think Suga-san can hold them down for now, but…Daichi is like, this calming presence of raw dad energy, you know?”

“Big dad energy.”

Issei snorted. “Exactly. Besides…I think he kind of might have known? Just like, I’m gonna be real, Suga definitely knew.”

“Suga knows everything and it’s fucking terrifying,” Hiro whispered, eyes wide and a little afraid as their glanced inside. “Let’s get Daichi?”

“Let’s cool off, first. That was a lot of emotion for first thing in the morning.”

“I’m good,” they argued.

He grabbed their shoulders and looked in their eyes. “You don’t like fighting. I’ve noticed this. Let’s cool down before going back into the warzone?”

They smiled and looked away. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

 

“I love you, but how can you stare at a painting for ten minutes straight? We saw it a couple weeks ago, and yet you’re still-”

Hiro waved a hand to quiet him. “It’s soothing. The colors are gentle to look at, and the scene is relaxing.”

Issei sat beside them and took their hand. “Well, I can’t argue with you there.”

“I want to lick it.”

“You – you want to what?”

“It’s this random impulse I get every time I look at a particularly good painting, and I know it’s absolutely crazy, right?”

He chuckled and pulled them off the bench. “Yeah, we’re going to take you away from this now.”

“I have self-control,” they whined, but they let him pull them away.

“Eating paint is how Van Gogh died. Honor the greats by not making their mistakes,” he said, continuing to pull them along.

“You wanna just walk around downtown?” Hiro asked, changing the subject. They did that sometimes when they got an idea, Issei was noticing.

“Okay, let’s do that.”

 

After a couple of minutes of silent wandering, Hiro stopped and tugged on Issei’s hand.

“Yeah?” He stopped and turned to face them.

“I don’t believe in soulmates or love at first sight or any of that bullshit.”

_Ah. This again._ “Mm.” He nodded. “You’re worried?”

“Yes. You have to admit that this _is_ surreal?”

He gave a gentle smile. “It is.”

“How did this happen?”

“We saw each other every day, gave it a shot to be unapologetically ourselves, and saw where it led us?” he offered. “I think the real problem most people would see is that we don’t really know each other, but we’ve both been too real from the start not to.”

They nodded, apparently satisfied. “I was hoping you’d say something like that.” They started pulling him towards a shop.”

“Hiro, where are we going?” he laughed, struggling to match their pace.

“Have you ever been in love before?” they asked, continuing to powerwalk along.

“Uh, no.”

“How do you know this is love?”

“I don’t know if I can put it in words, but like…when you’re happy, it makes me happy. And I’m proud of you for little achievements that make you proud of yourself. And I’m sad when you’re sad and I just want to do anything to help you feel better.”

“Hm.”

“Hiro?”

They pulled open a shop door and dragged him inside.

“Hiro,” he chuckled. “What are you doing?”

They didn’t stop until they were in front of a glass counter, leaning over it to peer inside. “Those. Those are the ones.”

He looked over their shoulder and saw a set of silver rings. “The ones…what?”

“I’ve been eyeing them for months because a couple of my friends got engaged so I had to read their stupid magazines and those are the ones. Those are the engagement rings.”

He nodded. “I see.”

“So, keep that in mind.”

“Let’s get them.”

They looked back at him. “What?”

“If those are _the ones_ , then let’s get them now. What if they get discontinued while you wait?”

“You don’t think better rings could come around if they got discontinued?” they asked. He had a feeling they weren’t talking about the rings anymore.

“Spring of next year,” Issei said, “uh, that’ll be cherry blossom season?”

“Yeah?”

“Well,” he said with a shrug. “Excuse me, can we please see these rings?”

The woman at the counter pulled the rings out for them.

“I’m going to love you in a year from now, and I’m going to love you three years from now, and I know because I know because I know.” Issei shrugged again. “That’s just how this love business works, right?”

“My mom’s gonna flip when she finds out I got engaged after three weeks,” Hiro whispered.

“But we’re not going to get married for over a year. Plenty of time to change your mind if you do,” Issei offered.

“I won’t.”

“How do you know?” he prompted.

“No one else is weird enough to put shitty pickup lines on my coffee cups.” They looked up at the woman at the counter. “Can we buy these, please? With some sort of payment plan?”

“Of course.”

 

Daichi stared at the couple blankly when they walked into Little Cup of Miyagi, wearing engagement rings. Issei folded his hands, being patient with his old friend. He’d think of the words eventually.

“Congratulations?” Daichi offered.

Issei winked and shot a finger gun at him. “That’s the one. But this isn’t about us.”

“It’s about why Iwaizumi hasn’t come in, right?” Daichi sighed. Then, worry replaced the blankness. “Is he alright?”

“Relax, Daichi,” Issei assured him. “As far as we know, he’s fine. But he’s at Seijoh Café right now…”

Daichi glanced at Hiro, who smiled guiltily. “They found out?”

They nodded.

“Well, let’s go, then. Issei, you have a plan?”

“I always have a plan.”

“A plan that doesn’t involve playing _Mm, Watcha Say_ upon walking in there?”

Issei frowned. “Uh, no.”

Hiro grabbed a bag of milk bread – _vegan_ milk bread. “This ought to do it, Dai-san?”

“On the house,” Daichi said, waving them along.

“Great.”

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were still shouting. The café was still closed. Suga was occasionally providing the men with sips of water when their voices got raw.

“Koushi, you’re enabling them,” Hiro sang when they got him doing it.

“If I don’t, who will? Besides, if they stop shouting, I think they’ll start brawling.”

Daichi stepped in between the two of them. “Hajime.”

“Daichi.” Iwaizumi calmed instantly, but there was still fire in his eyes.

“ _Hajime_. Recognize him?” Daichi pointed at Oikawa. “From the small business conference?”

Iwaizumi’s face went blank. “Fuck.”

“Don’t be so vulgar, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa gasped.

Daichi snorted. “What’d you just – what?”

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi went back to being quite angry. “Don’t fucking call me that!”

“Koushi, was it?” Daichi turned to Suga.

Suga gasped. “I think I’ve seen you around.”

“You’re the Yoga Enby From the Park, I have definitely seen you before,” Daichi realized. “Anyways, looks like we’ll have to fix this?”

Suga flipped his hair. “I always do have to. I’m kinda the mom friend around here.”

“I’m the dad friend,” Daichi said.

“Ew, did we look at each other like that?” Hiro wondered aloud.

“God, I hope not,” Issei said, shaking his head.

“Here’s the plan,” Daichi announced, “you two are going to stop, right now.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa glared at him, but they stopped.

“Great!” Suga cheered. “Now, we’re going to discuss this like rational human beings!”

“Our cafés don’t need to compete,” Hiro said before they could stop themself. “They’re totally different vibes that just happen to sell a similar product.”

“Similar product, different experience,” Issei agreed.

And that was the start of the longest emergency meeting that either of them ever had to sit through.

“Look,” Oikawa said finally, “I suppose I can… _concede_ that you guys give off the vibe of needing to bitch and moan to your best friend before getting snapped with inspiration and back to work, while we’re more like the comfort of a family member or a partner. Sure. I get that.”

“But?” Daichi prompted.

“But you’re still the new kids on the block, and it’s mighty bold of you to walk in here after _spying on us_ to suggest some sort of merger or whatever,” Oikawa finished. “You have to have something more to give us if you’re going to benefit off our three years of hard work.”

Hiro lifted the bag. “It’s something I haven’t been able to perfect. Not even Issei could. This is all Hajime.” They slid it across the break room table to Oikawa.

Oikawa frowned at it. “Is – is this?”

“Vegan milk bread,” Issei confirmed. “The only thing you haven’t been able to get right. You can sell it in your store. We’d like your Cupid Frap in response, but we can discuss that later.”

Oikawa pulled out a piece and bit into it, his eyes lighting up. “Holy shit, Kou-chan, try this.”

Suga did, smiling at Iwaizumi, impressed. “Nicely done, Iwaizumi-san. I think we should do it.”

“After one meeting?” Oikawa gasped, incredulous. “No, we need to think about this!”

“No, we don’t,” Suga laughed. “We know that they follow a business model similar to ours, our dream customers are the same people, just at different points in their days, and frankly, you want this in our café more than you want to hold onto your pride, Tooru.”

Oikawa blinked. “Uh…”

“We’ll call our lawyer friend and have him help us out with the legal stuff, okay?” Suga stood and walked out of the room, indirectly declaring the meeting over.

“That was one hell of a peace talk,” Hiro laughed. “Looks like we’re no longer sleeping with the enemy.”

“That’s okay,” Issei said, taking their hand. “Totally worth it.”

The others left them alone in the room. Once the door was closed, Hiro turned to Issei and grinned.

“I bet you a thousand yen that it takes three weeks before Oikawa and Iwaizumi start going out.”

“You’re on, Hiro.”

**Author's Note:**

> Checking out😉 the competition  
> You get it?  
> You know?
> 
> had to imply DaiSuga and IwaOi. Had to. It's in my contracts with my brain. I, i gotta
> 
> So, the thing is, I believe with my full heart that underneath the memes, Hanamaki Takahiro is an anxious soul who needs to be cared for, and that Matsukawa Issei is perfect for that job. Thank you goodnight.


End file.
